Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm at about main and main street
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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