Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
