i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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