my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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