my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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