They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
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I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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