I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
