I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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