Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm at about main and main street
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
