seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
