I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
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"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
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I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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