We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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