Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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