he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
