Jerry, you need to find god
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize