Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
