New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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