I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize