ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
