The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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