Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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