I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
