I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
