Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
