Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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