He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
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she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
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He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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