something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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