i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
