I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
