all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
