I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
