No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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