I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
