Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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