its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
