he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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