Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
