How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Let's paint friendship bongs
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
