so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
