He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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