I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
