I should be sponsored by Trojan
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
