He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
