1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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