what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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