I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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