At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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