were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
