Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
