Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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