once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
