apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Are we still banned from the library?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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