my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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