Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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