Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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