Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
