rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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