I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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