I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
